Eighteen million people packed like sardines on subways. Vying for vacant cabs on a rainy day. Trying to find affordable apartments. Life in New York City can be stressful for anyone. In this profile, we'll meet Dave T., a 35-year-old devoted husband and father of two who has a family to support, and a hobby that keeps him out late at night. Learn more about how Dave spends his time, juggles his busy life, and manages psoriasis.
New York was calling me
I was born and raised in California, and I had a really good job there. But I felt there was no future for me, really no upward movement. And since half my family is from New York, I thought it was time to try moving. I've been here for 10 years now, and it's home for me and my family.
After 10 years, I still love New York, but it can be so expensive. And when the money comes up short, I get really stressed out. That, combined with not getting enough rest, will generally cause me to get some lesions.
Free time? What's that?
I work for an ad agency as a systems engineer. I have to go around to people's desks and solve their computer problems, and I also have ongoing projects that I work on, such as installing computers and doing software projects. There are about 500 people in the office, and I get flooded every day with calls. So it's really kind of hectic.
I also have a hobby, which keeps me out late on weekends. I love music, and I'm a part-time DJ at a small bar and lounge once a week. I play dance music, R&B, and a little bit of hip-hop. Actually, that's how I met my wife. I was DJing at this club and—the rest is history. We got married and now have two kids. And with my full-time job during the week, it really doesn't leave much free time for me.
Making ends meet
All in all, I don't think my work alone contributes to my overall stress level. What gets me stressed out is thinking about expenses. Living in the city is really expensive, and we're barely making it. I'm sure it's like that for everyone else. It's a nonstop lifestyle. I work hard all week, then, when I get home, I don't have any downtime because I spend time with my baby and my daughter until they go to bed. Then I go to bed. In the morning, I get up and rush off to work again, so it's pretty action-packed.
My first outbreak
I was around 18 or 19 years old when I was diagnosed with psoriasis. I think I noticed it as a raised area on my scalp first. Then I noticed I had some raised areas on my arms and legs. At that point I got concerned and went to see the doctor about it.
During the time of my first outbreak, I guess I was kind of searching for a direction and trying to "find myself." It was after I graduated high school and I'd done a year of community college. I didn't know if I wanted to keep going to school or keep going to work. I also had a girlfriend of 4 years and we were breaking up. It was a time of great change and transition, and it was really stressful.
How I deal with it
I think it was tougher for me when I was single. You know, dating people and not knowing how they're going to react—worrying if they'd think it was gross and wouldn't want to touch me. But, it was mostly an internal dialogue and I was being too self-conscious about it.
Having psoriasis in noticeable places bothers me a little bit. If I have it on my legs, I'll tend to be more conscious of having my legs exposed, only because many people don't really know what the little red patch on your leg is, and that could really put people off.
Now that I'm married, it doesn't affect my self-esteem. Actually, my wife also has psoriasis, which I didn't even know at first. After I was with her for a little while, I noticed she had some patches on her neck. When we talked about us both having psoriasis, we felt there was nothing to be ashamed of.
What it's like now and how I treat it
I have longer periods of remission now, but my psoriasis seems to be more active in the winter, when I don't get much sunlight—and during periods of high stress. Since my scalp seems to be more active than any other part of my body, I use coal tar shampoo. It seems to really help. If I don't do anything for my scalp, it gets really flaky.
I find the best thing to do is to get a good amount of sunshine. Sunlight really helps my wife, too. When I've been able to go to the beach every other week in the summer, it really clears up my scalp. I don't exactly know how it works, but the ultraviolet light seems to be helpful. And if I have lesions on my arms and legs, I go out and expose those to the sun. They're usually gone within 4 or 5 days.
My advice for people without psoriasis
Luckily, no one has ever said anything derogatory about my psoriasis. The feelings I've had are more of a self-conscious thing when I'm having a flare-up.
I guess for me, the best thing people can do is just not call attention to it. I feel it's better when people ignore it. If they want to say something, they could ask, "Are you all right"? If it was done that way, I'd feel like they were paying attention to me, and not my psoriasis. Someone taking that approach wouldn't bother me at all.
